Gimme back my bike!

this is a photo of the Ucreeech brothas layin' it down. photo by elise mccauley

I had my bike stolen by some local hooligans recently. She WAS a beauty, a 58' schwinn (sp?)I affectionatly titled "El Tornado Rojo". I had left it unlocked behind my house and to my horror the following morning, she was gone. I felt like shit cause that was the bike Lacie bought me for my birthday a couple years back. But what can ya do...I had faith in my neighbors that it wasn't them who stole it. About a week later, I'm havin' a little get together with some friends. I'm layin a needle down on a Budos Band record ("Up From the South" is the jam)you know, workin the room...feelin it. I hear Amy on the porch say, "Hey steve, is that your bike?". My ears prick up and i rush out the door just in time to see a local rudeboy rollin down the street with his buddies. I recognized her right away, i could tell by her frame it was her. Lacie flipped a lid, Colin and I calmed her and thought of the best way to handle the sitch. We decided to simply confront them and ask them why they destroyed my bike. You see, El Tornado Rojo was no longer the crimson red with white wall tires, she had been brutishly spray painted a royal blue! Tires, wheels, spokes, everything except the seat. When i approached the theif, I commented "hey man, thats a nice bike man" and then when his grimy ass came off the seat, I saw the crimson red leather and the big "S" and I said "that's my muthafuckin' bike!". I proceeded to grab my bicycle and gently took her from the misguided youth. His friends acted tough for a second, until I gave them the look of death. We then returned to my house with the lady across the street yelling "don't you call no cops!" ha! like I'm gonna call the cops! thats a good one lady! NO, but I'm gonna tell you that you're theivin' little thug of a boy destroyed my bicycle. Anyhow, they won't be lifting anymore cycles from my lot. I bought a few locks suckas~ oh and i must add this "El Tornado Rojo" will ride again in all of her splendor!!

xo,
-s